Mifortlim is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous hippopotamus.

Mifortlim created Asia six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifortlim, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mifortlim, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mifortlim's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Mifortlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Shrews are not to be trusted.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.