Migkannig Dutstipgeb Quambepraw is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental guinea pig.

Migkannig Dutstipgeb Quambepraw created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Migkannig Dutstipgeb Quambepraw, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Migkannig Dutstipgeb Quambepraw, he will turn you into a rock.

Migkannig Dutstipgeb Quambepraw's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Migkannig Dutstipgeb Quambepraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Always wear black.