Yoggonnak is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, sage raccoon.

Yoggonnak created the Black Eye Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoggonnak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yoggonnak, he will jump up and down on your head.

Yoggonnak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yoggonnak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange snakes, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Run away if six nematodes approach from the south.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Yoggonnak on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.