Jonlipgad is a god.
She takes the form of a microscopic, benevolent
tortoise.
Jonlipgad created a strange quark four million years ago.
If you believe in
Jonlipgad, she will grant all your wishes.
If you do not believe in
Jonlipgad, she will say rude things about you at parties.
Jonlipgad's most sacred site is Gulval in England.
Jonlipgad's Holy Commandments1. Always pray immersed in water.
2. Run away if eight snakes approach from the south.
3. Never write about planets.
4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.
5. Respect your elders.