Nelgamnegtom is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, almighty goose.

Nelgamnegtom created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelgamnegtom, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nelgamnegtom, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nelgamnegtom's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nelgamnegtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snakes.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near great tits while wearing yellow shorts and balancing nine nickel spheres on your chest.

3. Retreat if eight seals approach from the west.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nelgamnegtom.

5. Never talk about tapirs.