Begwodnig is a god.
She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy
pig.
Begwodnig created humanity nine million years ago.
If you believe in
Begwodnig, she will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Begwodnig, she will turn you into a duck.
Begwodnig's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.
Begwodnig's Holy Commandments1. Do not chop down trees.
2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in red.
3. Never eat bark.
4. Never talk about quantum gravity.
5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.