Sandvedbell is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awesome owl.

Sandvedbell created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandvedbell, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sandvedbell, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sandvedbell's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Sandvedbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Run away from black dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.