Tigwikwod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable naga.

Tigwikwod created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigwikwod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tigwikwod, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tigwikwod's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tigwikwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mice while wearing black jumpers and balancing seven platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Never sing in holy places.