Damparkzagdumjarnyattpagsan Tipvanhug is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, generous slug.

Damparkzagdumjarnyattpagsan Tipvanhug created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damparkzagdumjarnyattpagsan Tipvanhug, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Damparkzagdumjarnyattpagsan Tipvanhug, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Damparkzagdumjarnyattpagsan Tipvanhug's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Damparkzagdumjarnyattpagsan Tipvanhug's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine manatees approach from the south.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Damparkzagdumjarnyattpagsan Tipvanhug.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help monkeys in need.