Tabwanrakgabbifnad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, blissful lion.

Tabwanrakgabbifnad created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabwanrakgabbifnad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tabwanrakgabbifnad, she will turn you into a dog.

Tabwanrakgabbifnad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tabwanrakgabbifnad's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Retreat if eight tapirs approach from the north.

5. Never eat bark.