Vonkbogwab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless warg.

Vonkbogwab created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbogwab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vonkbogwab, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vonkbogwab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vonkbogwab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vonkbogwab.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Run away if eight rats approach from the east.

4. Never talk about gravity near porpoises while wearing turquoise scarves.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.