Kipnatrig is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, benevolent jaguar.

Kipnatrig created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipnatrig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kipnatrig, she will turn you into a rock.

Kipnatrig's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kipnatrig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight ducks approach from the south.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sharks while wearing pink boots and balancing seven iron spheres on your face.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.