Bastxenmat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able fish.

Bastxenmat created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastxenmat, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bastxenmat, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bastxenmat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bastxenmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dogs.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never feed strawberries to whales while wearing scarves.

4. Worship no other gods but Bastxenmat.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.