Zakkonsasvol is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tiresome goat.

Zakkonsasvol created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakkonsasvol, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zakkonsasvol, it will send you a sign.

Zakkonsasvol's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Zakkonsasvol's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zakkonsasvol.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.