Bidvinbom is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, proud jellyfish.

Bidvinbom created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidvinbom, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bidvinbom, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bidvinbom's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bidvinbom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bidvinbom on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Put Bidvinbom first in all things.

5. Do not shave your feet.