Xucktofjap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, blissful shark.

Xucktofjap created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucktofjap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Xucktofjap, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Xucktofjap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Xucktofjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms pink.

2. Run away if nine aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about optics.