Konlitdag is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unjust meerkat.

Konlitdag created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konlitdag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Konlitdag, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Konlitdag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Konlitdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Konlitdag loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Never talk about fire.