Teencemcid is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud raccoon.

Teencemcid created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teencemcid, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Teencemcid, he will laugh at you.

Teencemcid's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Teencemcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Teencemcid on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.