Fomparkdum Bemkaparm is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented fly.

Fomparkdum Bemkaparm created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Fomparkdum Bemkaparm, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fomparkdum Bemkaparm, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fomparkdum Bemkaparm's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fomparkdum Bemkaparm's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must pray to Fomparkdum Bemkaparm seven times a day.

5. Never look at moons.