Dimhonstaf Pitbedlak is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, wise weasel.

Dimhonstaf Pitbedlak created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimhonstaf Pitbedlak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dimhonstaf Pitbedlak, he will turn you into a frog.

Dimhonstaf Pitbedlak's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dimhonstaf Pitbedlak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine sharks approach from the west.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must pray to Dimhonstaf Pitbedlak five times a day.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.