Gumsomcab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, egotistical goblin.

Gumsomcab created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumsomcab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gumsomcab, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gumsomcab's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gumsomcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never feed cherries to goats while wearing cyan hats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Put Gumsomcab first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.