Flagruldum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate ferret.

Flagruldum created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagruldum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flagruldum, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flagruldum's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Flagruldum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to pigs while wearing stockings.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never paint your head purple.