Candamlak is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, benevolent rat.

Candamlak created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Candamlak, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Candamlak, it will turn you into a frog.

Candamlak's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Candamlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not hurt ducks.

5. Never think about optics near pigs while wearing cyan corsets and balancing three gold spheres on your feet.