Gemdonbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unselfish weasel.

Gemdonbarn created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemdonbarn, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gemdonbarn, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gemdonbarn's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gemdonbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gemdonbarn.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.