Sadwat Arfzognil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unfair guinea pig.

Sadwat Arfzognil created the planet Saturn three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sadwat Arfzognil, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sadwat Arfzognil, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sadwat Arfzognil's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Sadwat Arfzognil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not hurt hamsters.

5. Never eat bark.