Quafbamwan is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, wise guinea pig.

Quafbamwan created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quafbamwan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quafbamwan, it will turn you into a puffin.

Quafbamwan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quafbamwan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always help sick dogs.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near seals while wearing purple skirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your arms.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.
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