Nurarmarp is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, strong dog.

Nurarmarp created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Nurarmarp, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nurarmarp, she will curse you with boils.

Nurarmarp's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nurarmarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Worship no other gods but Nurarmarp.