Lakyattsas is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome jaguar.

Lakyattsas created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakyattsas, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lakyattsas, he will manifest in front of you.

Lakyattsas' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lakyattsas' Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lakyattsas.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Always look after injured whales.