Tifvidnil is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, awesome human.

Tifvidnil created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifvidnil, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tifvidnil, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tifvidnil's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tifvidnil's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Tifvidnil must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.