Bemfagdud is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bemfagdud created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bemfagdud, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bemfagdud, it will remove you from existence.

Bemfagdud's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bemfagdud's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always help mites in need.

5. Put Bemfagdud first in all things.