Vinwitfidgut is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust slug.

Vinwitfidgut created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Vinwitfidgut, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vinwitfidgut, he will be very sad.

Vinwitfidgut's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Vinwitfidgut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine bats approach from the west.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near voles while wearing green scarves.

3. Never run in the presence of snakes.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Run away if five squirrels approach from the north.