Tomsterlib is a god.

He takes the form of a small, narcissistic octopus.

Tomsterlib created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomsterlib, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tomsterlib, he will turn you into a mole.

Tomsterlib's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tomsterlib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never paint your head yellow.

3. Do not take Tomsterlib's name in vain.

4. Worship no other gods but Tomsterlib.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.