Kikbogkab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical bird.

Kikbogkab created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikbogkab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kikbogkab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Kikbogkab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kikbogkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Kikbogkab must be the most important thing in your life.