Vilstanjig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, smart parrot.

Vilstanjig created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilstanjig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vilstanjig, he will curse you with boils.

Vilstanjig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Vilstanjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never mention ducks.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide if eight rats approach from the east.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.