Nurtqueegfon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, almighty squid.

Nurtqueegfon created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtqueegfon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurtqueegfon, she will not care.

Nurtqueegfon's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Nurtqueegfon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not take Nurtqueegfon's name in vain.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.