Ontbadfud is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering dolphin.

Ontbadfud created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontbadfud, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ontbadfud, it will turn you into a sheep.

Ontbadfud's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Ontbadfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.