Wikzanjenveg is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, astonishing unicorn.

Wikzanjenveg created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikzanjenveg, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wikzanjenveg, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wikzanjenveg's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Wikzanjenveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never paint your neck magenta.

5. Worship no other gods but Wikzanjenveg.