Gamsanman is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered manatee.

Gamsanman created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamsanman, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gamsanman, she will boil you in a big pot.

Gamsanman's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gamsanman's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to tapirs while wearing pink dresses.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gamsanman.