Somwotdib is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered whale.

Somwotdib created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Somwotdib, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Somwotdib, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Somwotdib's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Somwotdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed lots of gooseberries to foxes while wearing white shirts.

5. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.