Nillfonyik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless jaguar.

Nillfonyik created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillfonyik, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nillfonyik, she will turn you into a dog.

Nillfonyik's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Nillfonyik's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Retreat if six turtles approach from the south.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.