Tenganjab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, deceitful newt.

Tenganjab created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenganjab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tenganjab, he will be mildly annoyed.

Tenganjab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tenganjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always look after injured swans.

5. Run away if five mice approach from the north.