Cetbarnlog is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy cobra.

Cetbarnlog created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbarnlog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cetbarnlog, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cetbarnlog's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Cetbarnlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cetbarnlog's name in vain.

2. Always look after injured voles.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never wear red scarves.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.