Lagrawpag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident crocodile.

Lagrawpag created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Lagrawpag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lagrawpag, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lagrawpag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Lagrawpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about dark energy near dogs while wearing black skirts and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never feed lots of coconuts to great tits while wearing gray shorts.