Limhinyikfid is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-knowing alligator.

Limhinyikfid created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Limhinyikfid, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Limhinyikfid, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Limhinyikfid's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Limhinyikfid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always treat bats with great respect.

3. Limhinyikfid must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.