Bemmaptettisugbagbus is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, contented unicorn.

Bemmaptettisugbagbus created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemmaptettisugbagbus, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bemmaptettisugbagbus, she will turn you into a rock.

Bemmaptettisugbagbus' most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bemmaptettisugbagbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near ducks while wearing green dresses and balancing five aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the west.