Mitkimfas is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy elephant.

Mitkimfas created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitkimfas, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mitkimfas, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Mitkimfas' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Mitkimfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Never think about moons.

5. You must pray to Mitkimfas five times a day.