Bapjincab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, compassionate troll.

Bapjincab created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapjincab, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bapjincab, he will turn you into a dog.

Bapjincab's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bapjincab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bapjincab.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not speak about bread.

5. Pray towards the west.