Gessfitspag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing raven.

Gessfitspag created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessfitspag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gessfitspag, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gessfitspag's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gessfitspag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never feed bread to cats while wearing skirts.

5. Always look after injured shrews.