Appcedbidflis Damcunleg Gabbatkom is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, two-faced centaur.

Appcedbidflis Damcunleg Gabbatkom created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Appcedbidflis Damcunleg Gabbatkom, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Appcedbidflis Damcunleg Gabbatkom, it will turn you into a duck.

Appcedbidflis Damcunleg Gabbatkom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Appcedbidflis Damcunleg Gabbatkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about dark energy near porpoises while wearing black scarves and balancing five iron spheres on your face.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.