Jonbepbap is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, kind fly.

Jonbepbap created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonbepbap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jonbepbap, he will not care at all.

Jonbepbap's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jonbepbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never mention moths.

4. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

5. Never eat strawberries.